When life punches you ….HARD.
And all you can do is keep walking because if you stop you may never start again, or so you think. Because the pain is excruciating and the world says it will stop hurting, so smile and brush it off because life happens but …
So you swallow and walk and smile with your lips but your eyes show you are slowly dying but we do not look into people’s eyes when we ask “How are you?” So how would they know that you are not fine. And then you stop looking at your reflection in the mirror or photographs because you carry a personal secret. And beyond your eyes your body is shutting down in ways that leave medical practitioners dumb founded. You will hold on to the stress and let it eat you up and strangely enjoy the process because at least a part of you is grieving.
Every morning will be a pep talk of why it’s important to get out of bed and perform life and success. Why the need to fight and scheme. And one day you will give up. Not really give up. You will know that you cannot fight anymore because you are exhausted and really not interested and you will wait for the final blow and when it comes you will finally understand that heart break does not happen like when we break a glass. A human heart breaks in a span of time, little pieces falling off after the initial blow and that even after some years another piece will drop off. You will be eternally scarred, every room you walk into will be filled with the presence of your limp,and you will hide it because we all do.
But the sun does shine again. Same sun shine but different. Your experiences will have shaped your response. They will not understand why you are firm, or why you do not accept some things or why the passengers in your boat are few and why trust and loyalty are a prized currency. And you will not stop to teach them.
You will teach yourself to trust yourself, that you are not the enemy within but an allay. That you second guess your decisions and question ‘YOU’ will be a bitter pill to swallow. You will swallow it and walk on and make friends with yourself. You will indulge in the luxury of rediscovering who you are, what you like and love and have the pleasure of being in your own company. And you will regain your voice.
Because when life punches you … HARD, and you hear your heart break, you will only stop to breathe when you are sure your heart is healed. You will grieve for your innocence, for the days when you believed in the beauty of the human heart and when the tears dry out, because they do, you will look at your reflection in the mirror and smile.