Get in line!

Checking into the supermarket recently i realised that Kenyans now file in by gender. Two nice lines: male and female.  And why are we  now splitting up, well it is because we have to go through security checks. Beep beep, go the metal detectors as they are swiped on bodies, pockets emptied, hand bags opened and of course the part i distaste, a stranger’s hands riffling through my stuff. So why a populace accept what would be categorised by some an infringement of personal space, well because we want to keep our lives, period!

Imagine with me for a bit. You have a neighbour, been nice to each other, visits here and there, some mbuzi choma on big days, family wedding invites and so on. And then the neighbours marriage starts developing cracks, since you are now family, why not step in and see how to mend the cracks i mean, usipoziba ufa utajenga ukuta. But this does not work, and divorce happens, a nasty divorce at that. And you being the awesome neighbour and family that you are, you take in one spouse and some of the children, i mean, where would they go? And even though the matter is at divorce courts, you still believe that they can kiss and make up. Shock on you the peeps you took in thinking for a bit, stay on and on and become family for real. But we should love our neighbours right? So it is ok. Slowly but surely, another neighbour, who has no home training, becomes pals with the members of the family of the broken home neighbour who still live in their house (comprende?), they destroy the little bit of home there is and now start engaging in suspect activities on the estate street. The neighbourhood committee threatens but still, the little rascals steal the wash that is on the line, the mamas handbags and shopping as they walk down the street and lets not forget stoning cars. Folk get tired and call in the cops and some sanity is restored, so what do the rascals do as they need the income lost in this pawn game? Well, since jirani has hosted us well and actually lets us sleep over with the hope that exposing us to positive things will change us why not pick some of their stuff. So they start picking some clothes, some coins in that wallet that you just left on the table, and then some of your children who you exposed to them, love their lifestyle and hang with them and with time become them. Shindwe!

Following? Now, you have this ka project you have been running and the partners come to check it out, as they are guests in the neighbourhood, the red carpet is out. But the rascal crew is also watching , for them the big bucks are here. And alas just when you thought they would spare a thought for good neighbourliness they strike and run off with the guests property. Now that is a low blow, i mean you are still hosting one spouse and kids, some of your kids have become rascals due to the neighbours influence and now this? Talk of being nasty. Time to head over across the fence, and knock some sense into some people, because right there is being taken for granted or is it? Should you have been over the fence earlier, when it was certain that the marriage would not hold and that it was the kids who would be running the roost. Should you have been over the fence when the first mama screamed and pointed at the disappearing figure of the rascals with her shopping. Should you have built a super wall and mowed down the house next door when your child thought the rascals were glamorous. Should you have jumped over the fence when the neighbours bandied together and went over to get some rehabilitation going? Many questions right.

The Kenya – Somalia or is it KDF (Kenya Defence Force) – Al Shabaab issue is not easily summarised as per the above. I am not in any way conversant with all the military/diplomatic questions or answers. What i know is this? Someone wants me dead, simple.  This person knows my country maybe even better than me and as such i cannot sit pretty and wait for the storm to blow over. The politics and answers not with standing, something needed to be done. I salute all the men and women who are within and across the border ensuring that i am able to walk the streets of my country in peace . Some call it their job, i call it a sacrifice! Its gets stranger when the head of Al Shabaab is Kenyan, what went wrong? More questions. Do we need answers or solutions? As i cannot get into battle fatigue and wield a rifle, i will do my part, will pray for peace of Somalia (if they don’t get peace neither do i), pray for the Kenyan patriots within and across the border, will line up and get frisked and keep an eye on suspicious characters since it now seems they might be my own kin!

Did Al Shabaab think they would raid Kenya and we would sit and watch? Just because history showed that we took each slight with a shrug? I would love an answer to this. But as i may never get it. Well, they should have taken the words of our national anthem to heart especially the line ‘Kenya istahili heshima”.

Comfort Blanket

When I was born the two things that stand out in my mum’s memory of the gifts my dad brought to hospital are a newspaper (Daily Nation) and a baby blanket. Whatever else he brought along was normal, being the third addition to the family but these two items he had never brought along and he never did again.

In my memory that particular newspaper is constant with my upbringing being my dad’s preferred morning read (cover to cover orbituaries included). Its the paper that introduced me to cartoon wit (Andy Cap), Crossword puzzles (simple), Sudoku (strangely I am only good at it when I am using a phone), Flash Gordon and political commentary. So why does it remain in mum’s memory? My dad does not share his newspaper in the morning! And my mother is not an avid newspaper reader! So this morning, something dramatic had occured, a princess was born and she got ‘The Newspaper’. Guess dad had insight that I loved reading. And he also showed my mum another tool/toy of keeping kids occupied. As the years progressed I got to read the paper, later in the day and an edited version. The editor in this case was mum, pages deemed not suitable went missing, hence the early introduction to political commentary, mum didn’t think politics was dangerous. It was a relief to finally read the whole paper, quite an adult feeling. Allow me to state that dad hates finding different sections of his paper lying around, guess that’s the price of parenting 🙂

My dear baby blanket, which mum did not like much because of the colour. It is green on one side, yellow on the other and has a red border 🙂 Not ideal for showing off in the hospital nursery. But I love it. Love it? Yes, I still have it. It sits on my bed. The expectation that once I got older it would go, never materialised. I kept it! Moved from cot to bed, I went to high school with it :D, though I left it behind in Form 3, needed to grow up :p (nonsense!). It is part of me, we have been through a lot, so I say. The simple story is that I just could not fall asleep without it, so from being my baby blanket it became my comfort blanket. With it in my hands I was safe and calm. I could sleep. Everything was going to be alright. Here comes the confession, I am afraid of the dark! My imaginative mind conjures up everything imaginable in the universe, but with blanket I was fine. It was the one sure and recognized item in the dark. I don’t know why mum let me keep it, given that some relas had opinions about it and with one strange aunt suggesting the devil was using it! Huyo mama!

It was heartbreaking to leave it behind in Form 3, but looking back it was important, I had to learn to sleep without it. Needed to step away from what I knew to be true about the dark and discovered it was not that scary. After high school, blanket went into a suitcase and stayed there till a year ago, when I ‘discovered’ it, and back to the bed it went. But now its at the foot :). I can sleep without it, but I want it there.

We all have a comfort blanket, does not have to be an actual blanket and it does not just come out at night. Some people have that one mug for tea, without it chai sio chai. Others need a drink to face the world, others it’s shoes, or chocolate, or that one friend, or mum, or the car etc etc. But its important to let go and learn to live life without it or else it can turn into a crutch, over dependance, thus you get held back from trying new things because ‘it’ is missing. And that is not living life to the fullest.

Go ahead and let go of the comfort blanket. Leave the comfort zone, and discover life in its fullness.

 

 

 

Disclaimer.
Just don’t do anything silly!

Sleeping Beauty

“If I could just sleep for a bit.” My thoughts yersterday while in a matt 🙂 I was tired and a cat nap would have been the greatest gift but as you are aware, I pay my chauffeur daily and they change daily, so that was not the brightest idea. Nikiibiwa, as in, if the whole of me and not just my belongings are stolen. Scary thoughts implanted by my mother. And thus, my beauty eyes remained open even as my brain shut down slowly. Totally not fair.

I have a pal who states “those people you see sleeping in matts and buses in the morning are demotivated employees”. The crux of her argument is that if you are a motivated employee you will be up and happy and the excitement will keep you awake on your journey to work. That explanation holds no water for me as it could just be you slept late or your journey to work is as long at the Dakar-Paris rally and a snooze helps cure the boredom while passing time.

But let us address this ‘kugawa shamba habits’. Them people who sleep confidently and happily in matts and we know some are woken up only to discover they passed their stop awhile back. My wish is that all those men (yes one gender displays this habit more) who decide my shoulder is a pillow would get this message. So you get into a matt sit and black out, kange wakes you up, you pay and then have the major blackout. And while you are snoozing away the person next to you is struggling to get you off their shoulder or lap, yes a dude has ever ended up on my lap! The sad bit is when sleeping while sitted, the body plays embarrasing games. Your head is bobbing like a marionette’s, whilst your trunk is going round and round. And ofcourse you look ridiculous. The unfortunate bit, is that most of these offenders are heavier than the victim and waking them up politely is a task, you just can’t shake a stranger. So prod, slight shake, fella moves about, push offending head away, fella still asleep, now you want to yell for help, and voila he opens his eyes, looks at you through the cloud of sleep and says nothing! Not even excuse me. Farm animal!

On a light note, a pal once dozed off in a matt, woke up and she believes (how would she know) that the fella who was sitted next to her paid her fare. She did the polite thing, got off the matt and disappeared never to be seen again 😀 Why did this man pay? Fine chic catching some winks or was it a WWJD moment for him? Heaven only knows! I should try that out end month, I will not completely black out but will keep my eyes closed. I have a funny feeling the Kenyan brother I will be sitted next to will be those crude fellas who will rattle my bones away in the name of a wake up call. Oh well you can’t have it all.

Now I is sleepy.

Recce

My heart was beating like it wanted to leave my body.

“Tessa”

Vision blurry as i picked the bottle of water. I needed to sit down.

“Tessa”

I could clearly see Justin (Ralph Fiennes) somewhere in the corner of my eye walking in that hot desert. No, I could not or could I? There is the back door, pass it, “Thank God the front door is open”.

“Tessa”

Close the umbrella, sit down, and drop the bottle of water on the car floor. I cannot pick up my legs! I need help!

“Tessa”

That scene plays in front of my eyes, Justin looking for the place his wife Tessa (Rachel Weisz) died, in a desert and he is hallucinating. Amazing what the mind can pull up from your memory bank in such a moment. And of all the things, my mind went for the movie ‘The Constant Gardner’, strange that that particular scene was shot in Magadi. And I was in Magadi.  I was weak, actually faint, and the choleric in me had left help at the back of the car and now I was terrified that if I moved I would bump my head on the dash board and have a complete black out, but there is someone in the back seat so…….

ME: My blood is boiling!

ANN: I know it is hot……..(blah,blah,blah)

ME: My blood is boiling!

ANN: I am telling you this heat……. (blah, blah, blah)

ME: I am serious!

(At this moment i am wondering is this how i am going to die?)

ANN: …..(blah, blah, blah)

ME:  I AM SERIOUS!

ANN:  (silence) Are you ok?

ME: No!

(I did add to myself “that is what i have been trying to say!”)

ANN: (shouting) Japhoooooooooo, there is something wrong with her.

And with that alarm, the gents moved into swift action. Move the car seat. Fan the chic………

ANN: I think she has heat stroke

ME: The water is pouring

As J struggled adjusting the car seat, the bottle  fell and now what i really wanted was pouring! It was saved and handed to me. Phew!

Then someone realised i needed sugar chap chap! Out came the fanta.

We had made a super mistake in this project……….we forgot to feed the production assistant….ME 🙂  And with that was lunch break……

They need to put a thermometer on this welcome sign!

Magadi is about 120kms from Nairobi,exit the city, pass Rongai and the environs you get to that side of Maasailand, stark beauty that is seemingly uninhabited. We were going for a shoot. Sir J’s idea, i tweavesdropped, got roped in and I would say the rest is history but not really. Some props had to be found such as a fancy umbrella and the good Lord made it that on that day we would find an assortment of Chinese umbrellas and fans to choose from. Borrowed with the promise to return in one piece, we were ready. I made it to the meeting point just as Sir J pulled in and lo and behold, ze model aka Ann is armed and dangerous with a suitcase and Dan aka the grip boy has a chair and other props, ok, seems it will be a great learning experience for me. But, before we leave, slight detour for a swimsuit, girl is serious about this, I like! Swimsuit was not found 😦 Throw in a stopover for food; we had water and soda, leggoooooo! You drive down an escarpment and you really do not feel the drop in altitude, as there are some sharp turns but what you notice is a slight change in the physical environment, it is sparse, the trees become smaller even the mighty acacia, and it basically turns into scrubland. it is actually a 1105m drop in altitude. The closer we got to Magadi, the hotter it became and the breeze was also hot. Now breeze is meant to be cool not hot but this is a place that can get to 40°C and I am sure on that day, it was around 33°C.

First stop over, guard house where we had a slight chat with the guard who advised we head 16km on to the hot springs, there was a picnic site there, plus of course we were not allowed to take pictures of the factory. Scratch that,we would pitch camp by the lake side, basically 500m from the gate house. We were there on business and time was a currency. Parked and ready go, where is the changing room/area? Grip boy tried to create one in memory of his scouting days but it did not work so the backseat became changing room, the boot was wardrobe et al, basically the car was the office.

The world of modelling is deemed glamorous and at worst we call them clothes horses and slam them for weight or is it the lack of? But I must say its work. Striking a pose that the photographer conjures up, keeping your balance in skyscraper heels while at it and in this case under blazing heat is hard work. As production assistant I had the umbrella but in between the breaks between shots, getting to model was a little bit difficult, I had to stand a bit far back to make sure I and/or my shadow were not in the shot. So roast she did! Her only saving grace came after lunch break, and lunch was at around 3:30pm when some clouds came over and it was somewhat cooler. The shoreline shoot had hilarious moments of heels sinking in, I mean it is sand, ok sort of, and she could not find her balance so grip boy would assist in ensuring balance was achieved through finding some stability. Or, Lying on some fallen tree branch or rock, with the knowledge that strange things could and can crawl from underneath. And I did see some insect that looked like a twig hanging around. Of course she did have human moments of “My feet are burning, can I rest?” and the response was, “Yes”, and he continued clicking away. Let’s just say her toes were heading in the chipolatas direction. And the “I am hungry” and all she got back was “Nice to meet you”. Ok, we did horse around a bit. This is us; we definitely had a good time.

Photography is not easy; I am always amazed with folk who want to dish out peanuts for it. As a photographer, you take numerous shots, freeze time, moments, experiences and go back and pick out ‘the best’ shots and show them and sometimes have people take it for granted. I have a point and shoot camera, that I claim takes award winning pictures, but as the camera’s name suggests I point and shoot and voila! But there is the science that is photography from white balance, to zoom, to lighting, and thrown in all the lenses that come with it, shutter speed…….. It’s somewhat Greek to me and that was what was going on in Magadi, I was watching brushstrokes of a science. A photographer may not appear in the actual picture but the essence of the person is present and if you look closely you will see them. Infusion of science and art. It takes time, and it  time we stopped this mpiga picha put downs.

Will we go back to Magadi? Why not? Wiser, definitely at least now we know that we need about 5 litres of water per person, a make shift changing room, someone in charge of outside catering, transport manager, makeup artist, model’s assistant, photographers assistant, budgets, stylist, cold towels for the photographer etc, etc. But, I do not think that all that really matters; this was a passion driven project. Dream chasers on site! So……..

…and while you are at it check this out http://japho1.wordpress.com/2012/01/09/magadi-expedition-part-1/

Say Cheese :D

This morning, a young man got into the matt singing. Not loud but he was audible enough. The matt had no radio on and the rest of us were busy fiddling with our phones silently, with straight faces, not him. He sang with a smile and with that brought the sunshine in with him and got a grouchy post-holiday blues me smiling. And that makes it a lovely morning.

I keep reading on how our emotions affect those around us, strangers included but it still always catches me by suprise when I get wound up because someone else is and today when I have a lovely smile on because someone else let the joy in his heart flow. God wired us to be in tune with each others emotions and this leads us to empathy and sympathy. (Just in case the difference passed you by, look it up in a dictionary). I am not saying we need to walk around with a clown face all our lives but we can we at least smile, as a pal of mine says “It’s never that serious”.

I don’t not know what that young fella was singing, but I am now humming along that Crown Paints jingle “Always look on the brighter side of life….”

Have a blessed 2012.